The Science of Play for Parents and Kids
In our over scheduled worlds, play can feel like an afterthought and possibly even an unnecessary luxury. But what scientists know (and maybe grandma did, too) is that play is a fast track to connection, social growth, and stronger parent-child relationships. Play doesn’t just enhance social and relational growth, it also improves early math skills, fosters independence, and enhances problem solving.
So, how can we become more playful parents and engage in parent-child play that feels authentic?
Let your child take the lead. The pressure is off to make play fun or to pull off your best acting role. When we are open to following our children instead of leading or directing them, we leave space for the child to make discoveries. By allowing them to do instead of doing for them, children grow their independence and experience a unique sense of mastery.
Enter the child’s world in a present, joyful way. Use eye contact, focus, and ask curious questions to attune to your child and engage in their special way of seeing the world. When we learn to see the world from our child’s perspective, it’s easier to communicate with them and to share common touch points for joy, like sense of humor and shared experiences.
Get outside. No need to go camping or break out the hiking gear. But as much as possible, look for opportunities to leave devices behind and connect outdoors. Outdoor play might look like a walk around the block, finding a community playground, or going into your own backyard. Outdoor play helps kids advance their motor skills, reduce their stress, and improve their mental health and well-being.
Create opportunities for play. Play shouldn’t mean expensive toys or pressure on you to always participate. Kids can engage in free play with peers on their own with very few toys. The important element of creating opportunity for play is finding and fostering a safe physical and emotional space the child can freely engage in their environment and their creativity.
Try engaging a play therapist. When a child engages in play with a professional play therapist, play actually serves as a mental health intervention. Within the safe, stable therapeutic relationship, play can help grow kids’ resilience in the face of adversity, build skills and even help them make sense of challenging or traumatic experiences.
Find peers. Have your child join a group of peers so they can practice sharing, negotiating, making decisions, and solving problems. Peer play could be organized around a common interest or be organized through your therapist around skill-building activities, like healthy coping or effective communication. Either way, your child will benefit from navigating relationships while having fun in a community.
Play is a low-pressure way, low-barrier way to increase the attunement and delight in your parent-child interactions while giving your child the real-time practice they need to build connections socially and physically with the world and people around them. Take a deep breath, be present, and let your child take the lead!
Written by Katie Anthony, Marriage and Family Therapy Clinical Intern
