The Benefits Of Mindfulness: How To Implement Mindful Parenting
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to your present moment with no judgement on your feelings or actions. By staying focused on only the present time, parents can ease emotions and feelings that can lead to more effective parenting.
How to respond instead of react
Remembering to stay mindful can help to not act impulsively on your emotions or your child’s behavior. It can be easy to have an instant reaction, whether that be anger, shock, annoyance, etc. The more overwhelmed and exhausted you feel as a parent, the more difficult it is to stay attentive and responsive to your child. To first take into consideration your own emotions for the day is important; find what you need to better soothe yourself, then go on to find what your child’s needs are. This can help to reduce stress in both you and your child.
Put it into practice: Key tips for practicing mindful parenting
1. Learn to pause before responding with anger
If your child acts in a way that goes against your own beliefs and values (e.g. throwing an object at someone), practice pausing before responding. It can be easy to let anger take over your thoughts, so take a moment to breathe, then respond with firmness, yet calm tones and behaviors. The Gottman Institute states that “In order to make the choice to change your behaviors, you first have to become familiar with your “hot spots” and emotional triggers. Hot spots are certain times of our days when we are more vulnerable and less emotionally available.” We all understand that adults and parents have a lot going on outside their parenting or their child. You may be experiencing work or relationship stress, family problems, etc. Find those emotional triggers, and begin to practice separating those events from your parenting and your child.
2. Listen to your child’s thoughts
If your child is having a tough day, there could be a lot more going on in their mind then you might realize. Take a moment to understand why they may be behaving a specific way and try to find the emotional meaning behind their actions. Although you may disagree with their behaviors, it’s important to make them feel like they have a voice too.
3. Take every day as it is.
Remember, it’s not forever! Take every problem, behavior or event as it is in the moment, understand it, forgive it, and move on from it. Part of mindfulness is to not worry and dwell on past or future problems or events. This will also help to stay attentive to your child’s needs at the moment as well.
We practice mindfulness at Arcadian Therapy with children and adults! Through bibliotherapy, talk therapy and parent coaching, we can help you implement these skills into your daily lives and parenting goals. Contact us at admin@arcadiantherapy.com to learn more or schedule a consultation!
