Finding a Therapist Who is Right For You

Finding help when you’re already overwhelmed, sad, or in crisis can be a tremendous obstacle. Here are some things to think about as you consider finding a therapist. 

If you can, ask someone you trust. Maybe you have a close friend or family member who has been open about their own therapy experience. Getting a referral from someone close to you can be a great way to ensure that you have support from your social network.  It can help you feel comfortable that someone with similar values has already vetted the therapist.

Think about your schedule and the importance of location. Would it work best for you to see your therapist on your lunch break at work? On the way home? Or on the weekends close to your home? Considering what works best for your schedule and matches locations you already frequent will help ensure that logistics don’t interfere with your ability to make your appointments.  

Consult a database or reach out to a professional organization or a foundation organized around your concern. Professional organizations like the American Association of American Family Therapists (AAMFT) and Psychology Today offer searchable databases of qualified professionals, as do networking sites like Good Therapy. If you know you need help around issues like disordered eating or depression, for example, finding non-profits focused on those issues can be a great place to start your search. 

Consider your goals and the current problem you’re facing. If you understand what you’re struggling with, look for a therapist specifically trained or qualified to treat you. While therapists are educated to treat a wide range of issues, most specialize in specific ages, stages of life, or areas of concern. If you have a handle on a therapeutic approach that has worked for you in the past, or you connect already with a specific type of treatment, consider that when choosing someone. 

How does the therapist present online? Though having a clear picture of anyone online is tricky, consider how their online presence makes you feel. Is there something specific about what they have to say that resonates with you or a way of practicing that you align with? You may experience a certain feeling of curiosity around the therapist or have an ‘ah-ha’ moment when you take in their online information.

When you meet, what do you notice about the therapist? Your therapist should be clear in their communication and open to field any questions you have. You should feel that the therapist meets you with kindness, understanding, and compassion. They should communicate with their words and body language that they’re genuinely interested in you and your perspective about your concerns. Pay attention, too, to how you feel physically. The right person will give you a feeling of safety physiologically and psychologically. 

If it’s not a good fit, speak up. In session one or session 101, speak up anytime you feel the therapist isn’t a good fit for you or if you think something is missing. Your therapist should value your feedback and demonstrate concern and openness when things aren’t quite working.  Don’t be afraid to hurt your therapist’s feelings or to say what you need. Your therapist can be a great referral source to match you with someone you feel will help you meet your goals more effectively. 

Written by Katie Anthony, Marriage and Family Therapy Masters Candidate