Celebrating, Grieving and Embracing Change in Life
As change-averse as humans are, our lives are full of constant change. Our bodies, friends, children, jobs, health and marriages are always in motion, sometimes dragging us unwillingly from one new set of circumstances to another. Even for the full prepared and most experienced among us, change can feel like it knocks us off our feet. But navigating change as gracefully and honestly as possible provides us with an almost-unmatched opportunity to learn, adapt and evolve. Let’s dive into some helpful tips when the unexpected happens.
First, acknowledge (in the spirit of celebration, grief, or a messy mix of both) that change involves the end of something. The ending you’re facing may be pure grief initially. Practice allowing yourself to recognize what about the change creates sadness and feelings of loss, whether it’s grieving lost time, unmet expectations, or what could have been. Though it can be difficult in the moment, over time the pain will lessen and you’ll be able to reflect and find a silver lining or positive outcome. If the change is something to toast, enjoy the lightness of letting go and anticipating what’s ahead.
Recognize how you’re actually feeling in the moment, instead of how you’re “supposed” to feel. Give yourself grace and space to adjust to change, even when the changes are positive. If you are afraid about the changes in your life, do the hard work of taking a good look at that fear. Is it founded? What would decrease your fear? Do you know anyone else who has navigated a similar change in a way you admire?
Take a few minutes to journal, reflect or talk to a trusted friend or therapist about how you have navigated change in the past. Think about the lessons you learned and the strength you’ve gained during those times. Honor the resilience you’ve already developed from these past experiences! What have you done well during past changes and how would you like to show up differently this time around?
Don’t discount the reassurance that a routine can provide. Even in the midst of change, it’s possible to lean into small, daily routines that will provide you with a sense of safety and comfort that may be soothing. This can be as simple as sticking to your morning workout or ending the day with a cup of tea in bed. Whatever brings you peace and serves as a reminder that some constants still exist for your day-to-day.
Practice gratitude for the past, present and future. Take time to consider how past experiences and chapters in your life have brought you to this change. Thinking of what lessons you learned in the past can help bring more meaning to the story of your life and help reassure you that the next set of circumstances in your life also holds the promise of possibility, learning, and opportunity.
Eat the elephant one bite at a time. Seeing change through a big-picture lens can sometimes lead to overwhelm and feelings of being stuck. While it’s healthy to acknowledge the wide impact change can have on your life, practically speaking, embracing change also involves action. Making small, moment-to-moment changes and steps forward can help you stay present-focused and moving with momentum in an unforced, natural way. These small changes over time will add up to progress quickly when you trust the process.
Written by Katie Anthony, Marriage and Family Therapy Clinical Intern
